National Siblings Day

Today is April 10th,  which, thanks to numerous Facebook posts, we discover the fact that it marks National Siblings Day. Although it is actually an American holiday which honours the relationship of siblings, many Canadians are joining in with the posts and pictures, giving a shout out to their siblings.

Last year, I posted an old picture of my brother and sisters, thanks to April 10th falling on a Throwback Thursday. Here it is, enjoy the throwback to 70's clothing!

These guys have been an awesome bunch to grow up with, and even into our adulthood we still stay connected. We have been through both good times and some pretty challenging times, but I am thankful that R, H, and E are always there for me to turn to, they are a constant in my life. Although we all came from different biological parents, there was never a doubt in my mind that they were my true brother and sisters. Sibling relationships can be just as strong and lasting in an adoptive family as in a blood-related family.

This year however, I get to post yet another sibling picture. Last year at this time, although I knew I had a biological brother out there somewhere, I had not yet searched him out or met him. Technically, P has been my sibling for longer than any of the others, even though I've only known him for less than a year! How weird is that? Although we don't share a common past of childhood memories, we do share a common bond in having the same beautiful mother. Our actual relationship started later in life, but that does not make us any less of being siblings.

Regardless of how any of these brothers and sisters have come into my life, they are a blessing to me and I am grateful for each one of them, both adoptive and biological. Happy National Siblings Day!

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." - Desmond Tutu

A Gift to be Enjoyed

Many of us are excited that it is now officially spring. Not only was this past winter difficult for us, with the brutal extreme cold temperatures that seemed locked in for weeks on end, but for me, it was quite possibly the most difficult season of my life. 
I was battling emotional and physical exhaustion with dealing with my aging Canadian mom who transitioned from palliative care in the hospital, to a post-hospital stay, then finally to retirement living. Being on the front lines dealing with her transition took its toll on me and some of you are even aware of how our family has been personally hurt due to the declining health of my mom. Throughout this though, I am so grateful for my friends and family, who are cheering me on, supporting me, and keeping me in their prayers. 
I also have my birth mom by my side, encouraging me to go on, reminding me this can be normal with aging parents, and that things will indeed work themselves out and get better. I find myself more and more drawn to her motherly advice, love and encouragement. At times I have to keep my emotions in check and ask myself if I am "rebounding" as a result of a deteriorating relationship with my Cdn mom, but then I remind myself that Pam is a gift given to me by God. He foreknew all that would take place and I believe He brought her into my life "for such a time as this", to help me weather the storms and be a constant source of encouragement and joy in my life. No longer can I feel guilty for wanting to hear from her, for wanting to share my joys and my pains, for wanting to build that mother-daughter relationship. I need to just accept this relationship and this wonderful person for what and who she is, a gift from God. 
And gifts are meant to be enjoyed.

Happy First Birthday!

I turned 46 last week, and in a very unique way, I celebrated my "first birthday." Of course, it wasn't my actual first birthday, but it was that for some very special people in my life. This was the first time ever that my birth mom and extended family could wish me a happy birthday, so for them it was in fact, the first time celebrating my birthday, thus "my first birthday."

Up until now, there had been a certain element of wondering on my birthday from both ends. All those years that I wondered if she ever thought of me on my birthday, she wondered what ever became of me. It wasn't until this past year, 2014, that I discovered that she had in fact, thought of me every year (more like every day!) and wondered what became of her New Year's Baby. This year, although we weren't together to celebrate, we could celebrate the gift of life and the gift of a new year together with great anticipation and joy knowing that our days of wondering are over.

It is indeed a happy new year.

My Christmas Just Became a Little Merrier

This year is the first year that I get to celebrate Christmas with my newly found birth mom. Well, we're not actually celebrating together, but we can certainly celebrate across the miles with one another. Last week we received a bunch of Christmas cards from Pam and Pierre, which I know for a fact were chosen with love and care.

Reading through each one still brings tears to my eyes, and I treasure the sentiments expressed on each card. To my beautiful daughter, my daughter and son-in-law, my grandson, my granddaughter... and to my sister, nephew, niece. What an awesome event in our lives that we could both send and receive hand picked cards like this at Christmas. While finding appropriate cards was not easy (I challenge you to find one that says "To my lovely Island Mom whom I just met after 45 years!") I was able to find some that didn't highlight a history of growing up and of fond memories, but rather an appreciation for having them in our lives. And that is the sincere truth. My Christmas just became a little merrier because of my beautiful Bermudian family.

Peace and Joy

The advent season is upon us. At this time of the year, in addition to the Santas and snowmen, we'll see the words hope, love, joy and peace on a variety of items from Christmas cards to festive ornaments. These are some of my most inspirational words, and I have them hanging up on my living room wall all year long.

The other night, while speaking with my birth mom, those words came alive for me. It really struck me how my intent was simply to bring peace to her life in knowing that I was okay and that I was thankful for what she did for me. Never did I expect there to be such joy in the reunion, for the both of us! It's really quite a miracle that the simple hope I had in connecting with her has blossomed into a living relationship. It's truly a relationship of love. Both of our lives have been altered as we now journey together, sharing past experiences and making new ones. We look forward to what the future holds with great joy, hope and anticipation.

While I believe that eternal joy and peace come only from relationship with our Saviour Jesus Christ, whom we celebrate especially at this time of year, I am so very thankful that He in His goodness and grace allows us to experience a beautiful measure of those four advent emotions with others here on earth. May you also experience that same hope, love, joy and peace with God and with others as you welcome the Christmas season.

The 6 Month Mark

Today marks 6 months since my birth mom and I connected on the phone for the very first time. I still remember quite vividly that initial conversation which seemed surreal, that I felt I was peeking in on someone else's story. It was hard to imagine or fathom that the woman on the other end of the phone line was my very own birth mother with whom I had never even spoken until now.

Our conversations today are very different. Once in a while I still get that odd feeling of looking in on someone else's narrative, but for the most part, I know and feel that this is my story, our story, and most of all God's story played out in our lives. Pam is a very real presence in my life, and our conversations are no longer surreal. She is not only my mother, but also my encourager, supporter, teacher and friend. She bears with my complaints and she laughs with me over my follies. She does not judge when I shift from laughter to tears, and she understands me when at times I cannot put the words together to adequately express my overwhelming feelings. I reached out to her 6 months ago, just to simply thank her and let her know I was okay. And as unemotional as it sounds, I didn't really need her at that time. But now when I reach out to her, I fully realize that I do need her, and I am so thankful that she is in my life, she has become a very real part of our family, and I of hers. We marvel at what has happened in these past 6 months, and we are excited at what is yet to come.

Celebrating Both of My Moms

"Her children arise and call her blessed..." Proverbs 31:28a

Today is a very special day, the first time ever I get to wish my beautiful Island Mom a happy birthday! Although I can't be with her in person, she is certainly in my thoughts and prayers today as she celebrates another year of life.

Yesterday or today she should have received the personalized calendar I sent her for her birthday. For each month I customized the photos to match the people who are celebrating birthdays. Both of my moms have November birthdays, so this month's calendar picture is a real treasure.This was put together before my Canadian mom was hospitalized, and the collage evokes so many feelings and emotions. I'm sure I will speak to it more another day, but for now, I am celebrating both moms and counting my blessings.