Year End Reflections: A Hope and a Future

The initial but discarded draft of this blog entry was much, much longer, and contained many details that would have helped to fill in the blanks about what 2015 was for me, with its unique challenges.

But let's just keep it simple. God knew what I needed and while I didn't know what was in store for me in 2015, He certainly did. And my ever loving Father provides for me in ways that I could have never expected or imagined, especially in the relationship with my birth mom that continues to flourish. She is a real blessing and a treasure given to me at just the right time in my life.

Today, I'm looking back at 2015 and thanking God for not only my faith, family and friends which have all been a great support through the challenges, but most importantly I'm thankful that we can trust in the One who knows the future even when we do not.

Wishing you all a blessed new year. Be encouraged!

Rights and Freedom, But at What Cost?

The most recent Saturday Star (August 1, 2015) ran an article about RU-486, the abortion pill, and while this blog is primarily about my search and subsequent reunion with my birth mom, I can't help but reflect on how differently things could have turned out for me.

You see, rather than look to abortion as a solution, my birth mother chose adoption for me.
Rather than death, she chose life.

The article speaks about the abortion pill being a "private tool of freedom" for women, and the writer, Heather Mallick, even addresses children in this article, impressing upon them that it's important to know every right that they have now has been hard-won. Really? How about the freedom for the unborn child? How about the rights of the unborn child? We live in a world that encourages rights and freedom, but when we choose to exercise these rights, we need to ask ourselves if we are enjoying our rights and freedoms at the expense of someone else's life and liberty. My birth mom put my needs and rights above her own, and it certainly wasn't an easy or convenient thing for her to do. Her self-sacrificial actions resulted in my life being spared, and today we can enjoy restoration and reunion with one another.

My point here is not to argue, judge or condemn, but rather to put a personal spin on what the pro-choice movement says about the value of my pre-born life, and essentially, of yours as well. The next time you support a view that claims unplanned pregnancies are disposable please think about the lives that have been graciously spared, or even think of me if you want to put a face to the anti-abortion cause, and thank God that not everyone is pro-choice, or exercises their "rights and freedom."

Forever grateful that my birth mom was pro-life.

Uniquely Blessed on Mother's Day

Recently I entered a local Mother's Day Contest in which I had to explain in 200 words or less why my mom is special. Those of you who have been following my blog know that condensing my story into less than 200 words is definitely a challenge! But here is my runner up entry:

"I not only have one special mother, but I am blessed to have two! 46 years ago, one of these wonderful women loved me enough to give me up in the hopes of offering me a life she was unable to provide for me at the time. The other special lady loved me enough to take me into her home in order to raise me and treat me as her own flesh and blood. Many years went by without my birth mom in my life, but just last year, I connected with her, and these two wonderful moms got to meet each other for the very first time last fall. Words just can't express the emotions and gratitude I felt that day when they could each thank the other for what they have done for me, and what they mean to each other. Although there is a physical distance that separates them (my birth mother is not from Canada), I am honoured to be the daughter that connects these two beautiful mothers. I am so uniquely blessed and thankful to God to be celebrating two moms this Mother's Day!"

This story may have placed second in the eyes of the local newspaper, but it will always be number one in my books.
I am definitely uniquely blessed.

I Have a Hope and a Future!

If there's one thing that this crazy journey of finding my birth mom has taught me is that wherever you are in life, or whatever circumstance you find yourself in, your story is not over yet. I've been writing from the perspective of an adopted child reunited with her biological mom, but really, my story could be any of yours. Your story might centre around loss of a child or a loved one, or an addiction that is wreaking havoc, it could be loneliness, unmet needs or dreams, it could be years of silent suffering due to depression or abuse. Whatever your situation, remember that God's not done with you yet. He has promised you a hope and a future when you trust in Him...His plans for you are good! Just come to Him, surrender your life, and let him wrap His loving arms around you.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope
and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

National Siblings Day

Today is April 10th,  which, thanks to numerous Facebook posts, we discover the fact that it marks National Siblings Day. Although it is actually an American holiday which honours the relationship of siblings, many Canadians are joining in with the posts and pictures, giving a shout out to their siblings.

Last year, I posted an old picture of my brother and sisters, thanks to April 10th falling on a Throwback Thursday. Here it is, enjoy the throwback to 70's clothing!

These guys have been an awesome bunch to grow up with, and even into our adulthood we still stay connected. We have been through both good times and some pretty challenging times, but I am thankful that R, H, and E are always there for me to turn to, they are a constant in my life. Although we all came from different biological parents, there was never a doubt in my mind that they were my true brother and sisters. Sibling relationships can be just as strong and lasting in an adoptive family as in a blood-related family.

This year however, I get to post yet another sibling picture. Last year at this time, although I knew I had a biological brother out there somewhere, I had not yet searched him out or met him. Technically, P has been my sibling for longer than any of the others, even though I've only known him for less than a year! How weird is that? Although we don't share a common past of childhood memories, we do share a common bond in having the same beautiful mother. Our actual relationship started later in life, but that does not make us any less of being siblings.

Regardless of how any of these brothers and sisters have come into my life, they are a blessing to me and I am grateful for each one of them, both adoptive and biological. Happy National Siblings Day!

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." - Desmond Tutu

A Gift to be Enjoyed

Many of us are excited that it is now officially spring. Not only was this past winter difficult for us, with the brutal extreme cold temperatures that seemed locked in for weeks on end, but for me, it was quite possibly the most difficult season of my life. 
I was battling emotional and physical exhaustion with dealing with my aging Canadian mom who transitioned from palliative care in the hospital, to a post-hospital stay, then finally to retirement living. Being on the front lines dealing with her transition took its toll on me and some of you are even aware of how our family has been personally hurt due to the declining health of my mom. Throughout this though, I am so grateful for my friends and family, who are cheering me on, supporting me, and keeping me in their prayers. 
I also have my birth mom by my side, encouraging me to go on, reminding me this can be normal with aging parents, and that things will indeed work themselves out and get better. I find myself more and more drawn to her motherly advice, love and encouragement. At times I have to keep my emotions in check and ask myself if I am "rebounding" as a result of a deteriorating relationship with my Cdn mom, but then I remind myself that Pam is a gift given to me by God. He foreknew all that would take place and I believe He brought her into my life "for such a time as this", to help me weather the storms and be a constant source of encouragement and joy in my life. No longer can I feel guilty for wanting to hear from her, for wanting to share my joys and my pains, for wanting to build that mother-daughter relationship. I need to just accept this relationship and this wonderful person for what and who she is, a gift from God. 
And gifts are meant to be enjoyed.

Happy First Birthday!

I turned 46 last week, and in a very unique way, I celebrated my "first birthday." Of course, it wasn't my actual first birthday, but it was that for some very special people in my life. This was the first time ever that my birth mom and extended family could wish me a happy birthday, so for them it was in fact, the first time celebrating my birthday, thus "my first birthday."

Up until now, there had been a certain element of wondering on my birthday from both ends. All those years that I wondered if she ever thought of me on my birthday, she wondered what ever became of me. It wasn't until this past year, 2014, that I discovered that she had in fact, thought of me every year (more like every day!) and wondered what became of her New Year's Baby. This year, although we weren't together to celebrate, we could celebrate the gift of life and the gift of a new year together with great anticipation and joy knowing that our days of wondering are over.

It is indeed a happy new year.